Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Dog and Cat's Diary....(in inglese)

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Font Size
    #1

    Dog and Cat's Diary....(in inglese)

    Traducetelo, ? molto divertente......


    Excerpts from a Dog and Cat's Diary


    ------------------------------------------------

    Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

    8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!
    9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!
    9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
    10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
    1:00 PM Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
    3:00 PM Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
    5:00 PM Milk bones! My favorite thing!
    7:00 PM Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
    8:00 PM Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!
    11:00 PM Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

    Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
    Day 683 of my captivity:
    My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
    They dine lavishly on fresh meat,while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.
    Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.
    The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
    I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
    demonstrates what I am capable of.
    However,they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
    There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
    However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.
    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
    The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return.
    He is obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move.
    The captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.......for now...

  • Font Size
    #2
    AHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

    mitico

    Comment


    • Font Size
      #3
      Diabolico

      Comment

      X
      Working...
      X